Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
