ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
