The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
