Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
