My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
