Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
