You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Farmville is her only friend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize