I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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