dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize