my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
