This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
