New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
