I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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