is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
