THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
