Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
