They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
