4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
