He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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