i may or may not be watching the land before time
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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