meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
