No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
