To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize