Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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