You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
