theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
