Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
