think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize