his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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