just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
are you so shy because you have an std?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
