Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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