The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
