Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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