he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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