my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
