Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
