Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
