but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My feet surprised me
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