Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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