i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
