You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I cut my penus on the lid.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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