New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize