I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
