I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
