32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
