if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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