i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
