He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
