and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize