Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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