Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
