I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
