I want to have your abortion
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
