its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
