doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
